September Morning Freeblurt....

Friday, September 15, 2017

Friday morning and Larkin woke when the rest of the kids did, but then she fell back asleep and here we are. Noah and Lucy are at school and I was going to take Larkin and Quinn for a morning walk, but Larkin falling back asleep killed that mojo... so then my mind got to spinning about the Blurb book sale deadline tonight, and how I have two more books to finish in time for that, so I came to my desktop computer to hammer out some work, despite my typical rule of not doing my photography business work during the day... And Quinn, sweet boy, is getting some extra screentime, sitting in the comfy chair behind me, so I can get this work done, all while I keep one eye on the baby monitor.

And I think Larkin may end up like Lucy and I-- loving to sleep, wishing mornings started later. She has rolled over a couple of times, but she is definitely NOT ready to wake. And let's not go down that rabbit hole-- the one about her napping and how its shifting and how these morning sleep-ins just confuse the issue further, but are so nice when they happen.... Nope. Not gonna go into that now. Maybe when I post about her one-year milestones and stats.

So I'm here, waiting for the first of the two books to upload to the Blurb website (yay, me!) so I can get going on the second book, and I am letting myself start to think about all kind of randomness and I'm working myself into unnecessary knots of light anxiety when I think about how next month I will be flying out to Utah to meet my baby sister's baby, and I will take those newborn photos... but I don't have all my gear out there, so I need to round up some things to make it work out. And it will work out-- I have friends there who can help me gather what I need... But sitting here one month before, I'm letting it make my stomach hurt. And then I think about how I intended to take a morning walk with my two little ones at least three times this week and here it is Friday and I have only managed a half-walk on Monday (Tuesday?) when I parked a half-block from the post office so we could take a longer stroll to get there and back to the car. And part of it is Larkin and this sleep thing, but part of it is MY MIND HAS IDEAS but my physical self is so undisciplined and unable to do what my mind wishes. Not just with getting the right shoes on and stepping out the door here, but with any awesome new habits I want to begin. I am weak and selfish and lazy and weary and I hate that. I hate that I can have all the intentions in the world-- make lists, get excited-- and then when the dailiness happens, I can look at the list and...... just decide "not today." How lame. So then I get fresh knots from the self-flagellation and disappointment...

All while I wait for book one to upload and Quinn gets more time on the iPad than he should, and I should probably go wake Larkin up and just get this day started for real... because when it starts TOO slow (oh how I actually love the slowness, but...) then all I want to do is stay in pajamas and take naps and read books and just.... not do anything else. And some of that is lovely and good, sometimes. But good things can also be bad, and in this case, I think I know me enough to know that I need to start most days with vigor and intention and action, so that things actually get done. And that has not happened today.

And there are many things that could/should get done: not just a good healthy walk... But laundry to do. A couple of bags of MISCELLANEOUS that need to be sorted and put away. Things I am ready to be done with that need to be photographed and posted on the Buy/Sell/trade board. Two items that need to be hemmed, otherwise I will have wasted money buying them. Sitting with Quinn and encouraging some art or some STEM fun. Taking Quinn and Larkin somewhere wild for them to get dirty and curious. Maybe toilets to scrub (I miss you Julia!!!! *sob*)... Oh, I have to take some photos of the non-working MG car in the garage for my father-in-law. (don't forget that today, Em.) I need to call the school to ask if it's too late to place an order for the school photos they just took on Monday but that I forgot to send in any kind of order for. I should run by Aldi for a few groceries. Oh, and these Blurb books. gotta keep pushing to finish them by this evening, because this sale is a good one. Oh and I forgot to eat breakfast. (thanks, tummy, for finally waking up and reminding me!)

And so. Here I am. 9:10 am. In a bit of a spiral, mentally. But Larkin just rolled over again, so maybe I'll take this as my cue to pause the Blurb'ing, end this blog blurt, and go get myself dressed and ready before I go get the baby and gently pry Quinn away from his game, and decide which of the above to get going on next.

Happy weekend to whoever finds this and reads it. I confess I assume this kind of blurt is mostly annoying to everyone else (it's just good for my own soul), so I don't necessarily go out and announce that I've written it. So. Ha.

Also, P.S. the photo is not from today, but it kind of fits my mood, and if baby was with me, that's what we'd be doing. So.Thanks to you if you read this whole thing and still like me. The end.

Happy First Birthday, Baby Girl!

When Larkin First Arrived | St. Louis Newborn Photographer

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

{six days old}

{eight days old}

{twelve days old}

{fourteen days old}

{sixteen days old}

{twenty-one days old}

{thirty-three days old}

Tomorrow, my tiny last baby will turn one year old. Tomorrow. Do you understand the gravity of this? Somehow, despite all my pleading attempts to hold onto time and try to pull it hard to slow it down, it persisted, and here we are. One year ago tonight, I was finishing up my packing and preparations, getting ready to check in to the hospital in the morning for an induction so I could have her before the end of August. (Check out her full birth story HERE.) One year ago, I had no idea what her specific brand of magic would look like-- feel like. I knew she would be amazing-- that's the incredible joy of having multiple children: you learn early on how incredibly unique and quirky and hard and wonderful each of them are... so completely individual. So incredibly cool to "meet" the newest one and begin to see them become their own self.

And now she is almost one. And she has all of us enchanted. She makes us laugh, and she laughs at us. She is incredibly curious and clever and charming and chatty. She is set on being a full-fledged TODDLER (despite not yet walking, she is crazy-mobile and opinionated already) even before she officially turns one.

She is marvelous, and even as I feel the ache of time passing too quickly, I am so grateful to get to celebrate her like crazy tomorrow and the rest of this week. I am so grateful to be her mama.

And in honor of her birthday, I finally pushed to finish editing the last few newborn photos I took of her in her first weeks (with gratitude to my friend Erin for helping me with the outdoor and mama/baby shots!) and I finally have them all here, blogged... shared. It is gratifying to see them all in one place, and I am so grateful that I've been able to chronicle her life in photographs I cherish. 

I have grand plans for her next round of photos-- just wait til you see her curls and her toofers!-- but tonight, I want to sit in my memories of her as a brand-new baby, my own sweet new Larkin Clementine. Thanks for coming down memory lane with me. ♥

Larkin at 11 Months Old

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

And then, suddenly, my baby was 11 months old. Only weeks away from a birthday. Nearly a year since I was meeting her for the first time. How wistful and tender that makes me feel. 

But then again, what a marvelous little person this girl is, and every month reveals more and more of her personality. Raising children is pretty magic... truly. Look at this girl! 

{Larkin is wearing a sweet vintage baby dress I bought four years ago at a Vintage Market Days... And I finally remembered to use it! I used Elmer's glue to glue the bow in her hair because I was out of Karo syrup and because the sweet tiny bow seemed to suit her dress better than one of her many headbands.}

Inspired By Roxy Marj

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Once upon a time I had a magical friend named Roxy. She was my neighbor when I lived in a secret studio apartment next to a smokey, stinky bar in Provo, Utah, and even back then, when she was not even 19, she was an incredibly inspired artist. It was a sparkly, surreal, marvelous season of my life-- those months I spent time with Roxana, aka Roxy Marj. 

I lost her for many years... occasionally scouring the web for any sign of her, using her given name, using clues from our time together. I never could find her until one day, through some especially clever googling, THERE SHE WAS--her style still unmistakable, even as it had evolved. She'd since gone on to Parsons School of Design, and was now a wonderful designer artist with a wonderful brand, designing for Land of Nod and running her own online store as well. I cannot tell you how excited I felt to find her again. 

Since then, we keep in touch lightly via Instagram. She is so lovely-- inside and out-- and doing so well with her art, currently working on cultivating some children's stories and illustrations, and it's a joy to see her journey online. 

So one day in the dead of winter, this past January, she posted an illustrated digital quilt square of a bonneted baby among white hydrangeas, and I fell instantly in love, and vowed to recreate the concept in a photograph, with my Larkin. She also instagrammed two more versions of this wonderful image, here and here.

And I waited for Larkin to sit up and for summer to bring hydrangea bushes to full bloom; and I commissioned a red pixie bonnet from another amazing Instagram artist, Cynthia from Simply Wilde Knitting. I borrowed a beautiful spot in my friend Tina's yard (thank you, Tina!!) and in spite of my stinker baby who tried to tear her sweet bonnet off at EVERY chance (thank you, Tina, also, for helping me wrangle my baby and for helping keep her bonnet straight!), I managed, on a sticky humid summer evening, to make my little project a reality. Check out my little Roxy Marj baby! 

Sweet baby in a red bonnet, surrounded by blooms on a summer evening.... I am in love. 

Thank you, Roxy. Thanks for inspiring my own artist soul once upon a time, and for inspiring me anew with the art you continue to make. You're one of a kind and I cherish you! 


Our Days These Days- Summer 2017

Friday, July 14, 2017

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